F#@% Twitter. F#@% The bird, and the fail whale. Twitter is a disaster, random and constant bragging about the minute details of your life. It’s popular right now because Ashton, Shaq and OPRAH joined the party, and every middle aged wannabe wants to be them. Screw that.
Twitter Makes Everyone The Same: Voluntary High School
What’s worse than having to think out loud in front of people? Having THEIR THOUGHTS punched into your head 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It’s like our society couldn’t handle independence, thinking on your own, winning, so we created Twitter to make sure we could compare our ideas to everyone else’s. And you know, conform to what everyone else is doing. Any dissent is treated with the idea that you’re not friendly, and people are putting themselves ahead of their ideas.
Who wants that? Who wants to contend with High school all over again? Nobody does.
Twitter Is A Constant Interruption
It’s becoming seriously hard to get anything done. Most twitter users have a ‘client’ and that monitors their screen and puts a Pop up ad (remember the 90s) up whenever someone talks to or about them. So instead of doing the exhilarating, minds on work that you need to do to get life done, you have an excuse to not do anything. You have an excuse to not work hard enough because you’re interrupted ALL THE TIME.
Twitter Is Bullshit: Big Brother’s Pilot Program
In a world where we’re constantly facing increased surveillance, Twitter is getting the first batch of volunteers to assess our tolerance for being required to report our activities and whereabouts. Iphones are–at this point–expensive devices that people pay in hopes of pleasing their new overlords. Conditioning people to think it’s fun to report their whereabouts has been Big Brother’s genius move. Once we’re used to it, it’ll be rolled out to everyone else, and we’ll be pressuring them to join in.
Twitter Makes It OK To Not Achieve Anything
This is the worst part: Twitter sings the praises of mediocre shit worse than parents at a third grade graduation. Look–you can whine about anything. You can talk about anything, and it’s 100% OK on twitter to not do anything. It’s MORE than OK to fail at life on Twitter. You’ll get sympathy. From other mediocrities that have nothing better to do than be on Twitter. Had a hard job, hard life, problems with something? Tell Twitter about it and instead of ‘get your head out of your ass’ you’ll get ‘awww, it’s not your fault.’
Twitter is here to stay, just like Network TV and loads of other things that nobody likes.
Talk about this post on Twitter, here.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
DAMN STRAIGHT. Twitter is bullshit. So are most social networking sites. People are too afraid of each other today so they rely on online monoliths that are supposed to represent their personality and social life. The kicker is that they don’t actually add any real security. I’d rather die then report where I am every 5 seconds online so everyone can know what i’m doing.. Uh, also.. Who freaking cares? What this really is is a product of our narcissism. People want to tell each other what they’re doing so they can feel cool.. They’re narcissistic and take pleasure in telling others what they’re doing… fuck twitter.
If you are tired of facebook or twitter but want a way to connect with artists and musicians then you should check out http://www.putiton.com
If you are tired of facebook or twitter but still want to connect with your friends then pick up the phone…
Ever see V for Vendetta? Note the scene when the dictators discuss telephone conversations and overall citizen behavior?
Welcome to Twitter.
Who would start a company that makes NO money and does NOTHING except let you tell them what you are doing or thinking?
Twitter says “advertising is no fun, we wont do that” WTF? What company can afford to do that? Why would a company do that?
Wake up and take note, or you will become a footnote.
Mike
Oh God, I really agree with this. I hate Twitter from a personal level, but find it largely ineffective as marketing tool as well. That is not to say it doesn’t work out for some people. But I just look at the time some people I know are putting into this thing and wonder what its all for.
I have since changed my attitudes about social networks and realized that I was wrong to think people use them out of fear. A cultural shift has happened and the only choice is to embrace it. By abstaining from the use of social networks, you are cutting yourself off from a large, large, large percentage of the emerging world population. The internet is uniting the world on the highest of levels.
The world will only benefit from social networks.
Oh but seriously, Twitter is narcissistic, but only in the way any celebrity is narcissistic. So if you’re going to post on twitter, then you should be comfortable with the celebrity mentality. Which is, the mentality that does not mind mindless self promotion.